Don't take things for granted...

The past 9 months have been tough for our family, but I'm forever grateful that it truly has made us stronger.  I'm not sure where this post is going, but at 2:31am on a Wednesday morning, I can't sleep and I need to type....

I've always been a VERY thankful person, sincerely thankful.  My timing might not always be the greatest, but I count my blessings, I thank people and I don't take anything for granted, especially now.

When mom got hit in June, I asked the question "why" numerous times for a while....but I never got angry.  I can't explain it, but how can you get angry at someone else who I'm sure didn't do what he did on purpose.  I can't imagine he set out to drink and crash into my mom.  I'm not so sure I would have been so forgiving if Charlotte would have been in the car or if mom would have died, but getting angry does no good.  It is what it is and there is a plan for all of what has happened, one we will never know.  Somehow somewhere I do believe that people that have heard what my mom has gone through.  People reading the Caring Bridge updates or hearing the story from someone else has hopefully helped touched someone's life...Touched in their hearts to hear that our family isn't angry or hateful or wished any ill will on the person that crashed into mom.  What good does hate do?  NOTHING, it does NOTHING....you must fill your heart with goodness and just be GRATEFUL for the path that this road leads you on and know that there is a plan.  Who knows, maybe that's part of it...for folks to remind themselves to be grateful and not angry and enjoy life and not take things for granted...

Fast forward to last week...a friend of mine thru Relay is losing her husband.  Not to cancer, but to another terrible disease that I'd never heard of until last week.  WHY, this is what I don't get?  Why?  This perfectly healthy/happy/loving person is slowly drifting away at the age of 33.  Two of the nicest/kindest/most in love people I've ever met and my friend is now watching her dear husband struggle with breathing and the hospice nurses have told her it's just a mater of time...

I have cried so much in the past year.  I break down when I have to (just ask Victor), but when people ask how my mom is doing, I'm honest and tell them she's a trooper, strongest person I know (mentally, getting there physically) and that things are gonna be okay.  We can't undo anything, life is different since June 3rd, but it's gonna be okay.  We are GRATEFUL!!!

When I read the news about my friend's husband, I cried and cried for them.  I just don't get WHY?  Why is this happening to them?  Why is a kind/wonderful person who wouldn't harm a fly going through this?   I've known/know so many folks battling inoperable cancers, why is this happening to him?  There is no cure and nothing the doctors can do...

She started a Caring Bridge site, something that I don't wish anybody would every have to do, but knowing first hand that there is a need, I'm glad she stared it.

Bottom line in this post....yes, things may totally suck at times.  You may not feel good, you may be going through a really rough time, but are you BREATHING?  Is your quality of life pretty good.  Can you get out of bed by yourself?  Can you take a shower on  your own?  Those are things I think about every single day now.  Even as I sit here coughing up a lung, I know it's NOTHING compared to what so many wonderful people are going through.  People going through chemo and radiation.  People on ventilators in the hospital, little children are living with inoperable brain tumors and smiling, people who are sitting by their  husband's side while they watch him struggle to breath and just hold his hands not knowing if it will be his last breath.

I ask a HUGE prayer for K & D tonight and that love fills both their hearts and their family/friends as they say goodbye to D. 

Life is a very short and precious.  I personally believe that things will be so much better when we are in heaven, it just breaks my heart seeing friends go through what they are having to go through.  Don't sweat the small stuff, enjoy/be grateful for the little things in life and don't take anything for granted....Forgiveness is probably the biggest thing of all...your heart has no room for anger...forgive and let go....

Mom's first time typing with an iPad...

Video of mom today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mULEgxBgEds

The gift of Caring Bridge...

Up until June 3rd, I had never thought about the need to having to set-up a Caring Bridge site. Things changed that day for our family...I was up in the wee hours of Saturday, June 4th setting up the site, but didn't send anything out until I talked to my Dad and then made sure all our family had been to told first hand about mom's crash.

Keep this website in the back of your mind somewhere....Unfortunately/fortunately, you may need it for either yourself, or a loved one.

These are some friends near and dear to my heart. They are all in my prayers/positive thoughts daily.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jennifercaine/journal

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/heatherschafer

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/gavinambrose

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jenkinsfamily

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jeffmurray

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marisaovist

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katelinmason

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/cooperreynolds

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/thewebers

Dad's journal (Caring Bridge) update to my mom....

Tuesday, June 7, 2011 10:48 PM, PDT

My Dear Linda:

I just want you to know how much I love you and am not afraid to tell you in front of all these guests. Friday we'll be married for 45 years and engaged for 49 last May 22nd [1962]. It seems like just a few moments ago that I saw you in 10th grade Biology and had the feeling that you were the girl that I was supposed to marry. I know that you didn't like me as I was a loud mouth show off even back then. As a "FAST MOVER" I finally gathered up my courage to ask you out, and you agreed, December 22, 1961. I still have secreted away my journal of our dates and we have all of our letters while we were seperated for the next four years in different colleges. I hope that you will be more awake on Friday 6/10/11.

You are God's 2nd greatest gift to me [for awhile] and I am eternally greatful for you after His most precious gift through His sacrifice of His Son on our behalf.

I am so greatful that you are also a believer in our Lord Jesus that this along with Kathy and Tim as believers are all that a man could ask of this life.

I want you to know when you wake up how very proud I am of you, how brave you have been especially since last Friday when you were all alone and this terrible accident nearly took you away from me. My heart aches that you were almost alone [the Lord is always with us], but stuck there in your car, pinned, hurting and waiting for help. The EMT's, Firefighters and Sheriff said you first thought to have them call Kathy and tell her you love her and specifically when my flight was coming in. How you had the strength and focus to do that with the pain you must have been it is incomprehensible.

I am so very sorry that you are hurt so badly, I can't bare it that you are hurting at all my love. They are keeping you alseep and I hope that you don't remember any of this past week or even the next few days to come as the pain you are experiencing must be terrible.

I am keeping another journal of phone calls from friends and saving all of the emails coming directly home for you to read when you are able. The outpouring of prayers and well wishes is beyond my imagination. A few are: Ruthie T. , Gloria P., Chow Khiat Yew and Jeannett from Singapore, Elizabeth Swan Lee from Singapore, Rick Moeler, Dave and Mary Easton, Leonard and Betty Rose, Tiffiny Brady and her 'Bunch', Carol and Paul Budke, Pat Garrett, Tammy and Bruce Clark, many others from Rotary, Matt and Sarah Miller, Sisters of the Holy Name [Marylhurst College], Jacque Quintero, Dai Truong, Scott Leithem, many from Andersen Construction, these are only ones I've received. Kathy has hundreds via emails and Facebook.

Dave and Terri Ferguson and Jerry Lefebvre came to the ICU and prayed for you and us. BCC and the Disciplemakers as well as your SILK teammates and and the Experiencing God group all are lifting us up with their prayers.

I was told that my co-workers volunteered to "pool" some of their vacation and donate it to me so that I could be off with you during this time...I am overwhelmed at the love and kindness that so many people are praying and sending your and our way.

Linda, you will be very proud of Kathy and how she has clung to you with all of her love and care that she can pour out. Tim will be here in the morning. Terry and Lil as well as Dave, Kattie, Claire and Marilyn have been praying unceasingly since they got the word of your accident, and they are part of the fundamental core to our strength as a family. There are so many that we don't even know that are praying and we feel the power and uplift from those thoughts. Bob and Meta and Jan and Dennis are in constent contact on your progress.

Murphy and Jessie can't understand why Mama isn't here to sit on your lap and snuggle down for a nice afternoon nap, they obviously miss you and I cannot fill your void.

Goodnight my love, I'll see you in the morning. Love you, Dan

Dan Green

CaringBridge.org -- what a blessing...

http://www.caringbridge.org/ If you haven't heard of it, go check it out. What an amazing personalized website for anyone dealing with a serious health event or for a loved ones last part of their journey here on earth. What a blessing to have this service to help communicate updates to family/friends and allows those folks to leave messages and encouragement...it's awesome!

I get daily updates on many friends, or friends of friends...and I love getting to leave comments in their journal...what a great/easy way to stay in touch and not have to spend hours playing telephone tag....

CaringBridge & prayer request...

Over the past year, I've grown to be so grateful for the gift of CaringBridge. It's a free, personalized website that connects family and friends during a serious health event. As someone that tries to blog daily, I know and understand the importance of staying connected with family/friends that we aren't able to see on a daily/weekly basis during the good times and hard times. CaringBridge makes it easier to share health updates and receive messages of love and support from all over the world, when times are the most difficult.

CaringBridge is a true gift!

This morning, we lost a hero. Little 9-year old Luke Jensen passed away and is now in heaven. I never met Luke in person, but I was at Relay in Battleground, WA last August and Charlie and I visited his campsite, Luke's Victory Squad. Luke and his family were truly amazing during all three of Luke's battle with leukemia. Most especially during this last part of his journey home. I was brought to tears with every entry from his parents on just how couragous their little hero was. Even at the young age of 9, Luke was helping his family deal with the reality that his fight was near the end. He knew he would be in heaven soon.

I would ask all of you reading our blog, to please lift up Luke's family and friends all over the world as they cope with the loss of their precious 9-year old son. Keep Luke in your prayers and rejoice that is no longer in pain and is cancer free!

Remember to tell those in your life just how much they mean to you! Life is short here on earth...live each day with purpose and passion.